I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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