dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
