new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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