i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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