we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
