Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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