I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My vagina is officially offended.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
