My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
