Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
