i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the day after is always just damage control
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
