As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
