You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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