Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
