i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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