I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
