He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
