Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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