please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
