Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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