evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
