Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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