we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
