But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
