We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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