My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
