this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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