your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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