So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
