god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
