There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
