I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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