That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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