just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
