what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
