We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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