well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
