hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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