Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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