At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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