I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
