So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
