I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So many bounce houses so little time
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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