I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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