Nicole vs. Life
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
