To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
where are you?
Hypothermia
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
