Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
