How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just had sex on a roof
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
