big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
