And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Semen is not good for contacts.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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