I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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