I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
