i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
