from now on my penis is your penis
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
