Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
