I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize