so explain again why im purple
no
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
