Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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