Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
