the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
