The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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