I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
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