I looked at my own cervix.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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