Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
