I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize