So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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