Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
